My twenties were chaotic and lonely, and my life felt unstable.
I had two part-time jobs with shifting work hours. My coworkers held wildly different worldviews. I had three roommates, but we didn’t hang out often. And I spent most of my free time watching entertainment.
I was getting lost. Lost in other stories and losing sight of God’s story for my life.
So, not surprisingly, I felt lonely. I felt anxious. And felt tempted to cope in unhealthy ways.
A Bigger Story
Your story is part of a bigger story. And if you miss that, you are going to feel really lonely.
“Does anyone see me?”
“Does anyone care?”
“Do I really have a purpose?”
The problem I had using over-entertainment to cope is that I kept getting caught up in other stories:
- Am I an athlete competing with my body–so working out really matters?
- Am I a worker who has to build my job into a visionary enterprise?
- Am I an influencer who has to grind to get a massive online community?
I was tempted to believe all of these purposes for my life. These smaller stories weren’t helping me. They were limiting my vision to one area of life that wasn’t ultimate. What do you do when your purpose is stunted?
My Personal Liturgy
In order to rediscover my foundation, I wrote down a personal liturgy.
It was a set of questions to re-teach me the basics of the bigger story. I love the historic and modern question-and-answer catechisms of the Christian faith (for classics, check out the Heidelberg Catechism or the Westminster Shorter Catechism; for new ones, take a look at The New City Catechism or The Gospel Way Catchism). They are so helpful to summarize the powerful truths we believe together.
But I needed something that was simultaneously true for all Christians and spoken to my own heart in my own voice. So I drafted my own miniature catechism. With just three questions:
- Who am I?
- What is my purpose?
- What is reality?
I spent time looking through my Bible and hand-crafting my own one-sentence answers to these questions. Then each day, I would recite these questions and answers to re-found myself on my real life story.
Finding Your Answers
Curious about what my answers were? First, let me coach you to find your answers in your words.
First, Open Your Bible to Find Verses on Purpose
If you own a Bible, you can easily craft your own responses to these questions. Especially check out all of the helpful ways that the apostle Paul answers these things throughout his letters. Ultimately, we want to summarize what God says these answers are, because it’s his real story, not our fantasy.
Here are some passages that where you can start:
- Who am I?
Just look at Gen. 1:27-28, Rom. 3:23-24; Rom 8:9-17; Eph. 1:1; 1 Pet. 2:9 - What is my purpose?
Check out Rom. 12:1-2; Eph 1:12; 1 Cor. 10:31; Matt. 22:36-40; Matt. 28:19-20 - What is reality?
These verses give a big picture: Rom. 11:33-36; Rev. 7:9-17; Hab. 2:14; Ps. 103
Next, Summarize Your Answers to Your Purpose
Spend a little time mulling over the magnitude of these verses. They spell out the big story God is writing in the world, and you are a part of it! You can keep your answers simple. Just summarize what God’s Word has taught you about the answer to that question in one or two sentences. Then look it over to see if you want to add or edit anything.
My Questions and Answers to Find Purpose
Need an example? Here is my personal liturgy–my answers for these big questions:
- Who am I?
I am a sainted son, turned from sinning slave, who is God’s in both identity and purpose because of Christ. - What is my purpose?
I live to sacrifice my life in every way, so that God may be glorified and my neighbor might be loved. - What is reality?
That from Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to Him be the glory forever.
I have gone through this exercise with others who have found it really helpful to slowly think through God’s bigger purposes for them. And this exercise ended up helping them with loneliness, hopelessness, and even seasons of decision-making.
Done with Smaller Stories
After you have written out your answers, hang onto them. Pull them out during your quiet time with God and remind yourself of the bigger reality that you are living in.
You are not alone. You are not left to the whims of other smaller, lonelier stories (your current job, a secular narrative, entertainment escapism). Instead of having a world as small as yourself, you have a world as big as God.
For a printable worksheet to create your personal liturgy, download the PDF.
Still struggling with loneliness? Check out this video from The Binmin Podcast!