Anger is God-given energy that can help us solve problems and show compassion. Believers are to be angry when God is dishonored or we witness injustice and wicked acts. Healthy anger motivates us to oppose ungodly social or personal evils and defend the innocent.

Unhealthy anger violates Scripture or doesn’t honor God. James 1:19 gives us an outline for handling anger: be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. And we can follow four rules of communication: Be honest, stay current, attack problem not the person, act don’t react. 

0:00 – Opening

0:13 – Introduction to When Life is Hard series

1:32 – Definition of anger

2:10 – Healthy Anger: Example of Jesus’s anger in Temple (John 2:13-17) 

4:55 – Sinful Anger, “the anger of man, does not produce the righteousness of God.” (Jas 1:20)

6:08 – Causes of sinful anger

7:04 – Handling sinful anger: “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (Jas. 1:19).

8:36 – Quick to hear: listen carefully

10:33 – Slow to speak involves the “Four Rules of Communication” from Ephesians 4:25-32 

11:03 – Rule 1: Be Honest (Eph. 4:25): Be kind and gentle in your spirit, but speak the truth

11:29 – Rule 2: Stay Current (Eph. 4:26-27): Don’t hold on to your anger 

12:02 – Rule 3: Attack the Problem Not the Person (Eph. 4:29-30):  Responding to what they did, not who they are  

12:46 – Rule 4: Act, Don’t React (Eph. 4:31–32) 

14:05 – Be slow to anger: express your anger in a healthy way. Let the fruit of Spirit’s self-control act in you. 

15:24 – Have a contingency plan when you feel sinful anger rising: Reviewing Scripture, confessing evil thoughts, prayer, reflecting on good qualities of the person

17:25 – So What? What are our practical takeaways from this episode?

17:48 – Remove yourself from situations and places that bring temptation to become angry.  

19:19 – Learn to ignore petty disagreements. Most hills aren’t worth dying on. And God even says it’s your “glory to overlook an offense” (Prov. 19:11). 

20:17 – Stay away from habitually angry people

21:30 – If you are in a violent or dangerous context with someone. GET OUT and get safe. 

22:14 – Next Step This week: (1) Next time you face a problem, choose to attack the problem and not the person. (2) If you have gotten angry with someone, seek them out and ask forgiveness. 

23:28 – Thank you and wrap up

*We’re indebted to Faith Church of Lafayette, Indiana for pointing out the “Four Rules of Communication” in Ephesians 4: https://www.faithlafayette.org/resources/sermons/christian_life_and_growth_four_rules_of_communic